Today is six months. Since months since Ailish died.

Six months and one evening ago, Ailish went out with her friend, Janna, to celebrate her birthday the previous week and to chat about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. To Boston Pizza, if memory serves. As she always did, Ailish had a wonderful time. Six months ago, Ailish woke up before dawn and gave me sleepy hugs before she jumped in the shower and dozily started her day.

Most days, I would come downstairs to say goodbye to Ailish as she left to work, but that morning, I had had a terrible night of sleep so I didn’t go downstairs. But Ailish stopped by the bedroom before leaving, and gave me another sleepy hug. The last thing we said to each other that morning was our ‘I love yous’. I tried very hard never to leave the house without saying that, as did Ailish.

Three hours later, the doorbell rang and my world shattered.