One Year

Today is 365 days since I married the love of my life, Ailish O’Connor. And 102 days since she died.

We had been together for more than three and a half years. As part of our wedding vows, we each said, “Every day is better with you in it.” This was true before we got married and even more so after. I loved every minute I spent with Ailish. She was my partner, my ally against the cold, cruel world. She was my inspiration, my motivation. She gave me new eyes with which to see the beauty in life. She was the reason behind my smiles.

No relationship is perfect, but it is hard to imagine one with more love than ours.

I am so glad I got to meet Ailish. That I got to know her, to love her, to marry her, to make her happy. That I had a wonderful, magical life with her. I regret only that Ailish and I had such a short time together, and that I could not hold her hand as she died, and tell her one last time how much I loved her.

July 31st, 2011 11:21 AM

She knew, Christopher, she knew.

One look at the two of you together and it was obvious to everyone how much you adored each other.

She carried you in her heart, the way you carry her in yours.

The great mystery of grief is that somehow, through all the pain and hurt, the piece of the loved one that lives inside you *doesn’t* go away. At first, it’s hard to see because of all the tears and the hurt and the sorrow, but when those have had their season, the presence of the one you loved so well remains. It is a comforting, happy thing, in a quiet sort of way.

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